How not to emulate like a dumbass.

Old games are awesome. And that’s awesome, because new games suck. However, some people don’t have old-school consoles like the NES because their parents were cheap, like mine. As a Christmas present, I’m gonna teach you scrubs how to play old-school games like they were meant to be played (i.e. not on your Cheeto-encrusted keyboard).

Step 1: Buy Magic Joy Box.

Or some other USB adapter. They’re like $15 on Amazon. Or just use a wired 360 controller (works on Mac, Google it). Just make sure you can plug a controller into your computer.

Step 2: Load up your emulator and see if it works.

This nice man wrote a big guide to emulating everything ever, so I don’t have to.

My Gamecube controller worked without drivers. The Xbox controller didn’t. And Microsoft, being Microsoft, doesn’t make drivers for Mac.

Step 3: Almost give up.

This step is optional.

Step 4: Install drivers.

XHD is an Xbox controller driver for Mac some poor bastard wrote back in the Stone Age. It’ll say the installation failed, but what failed is the GUI configuration. The driver itself will still work.

Step 5: Configure inside emulator.

The trigger buttons register as analog axes, not digital buttons. The minus side of the axis is any position other than fully pressed, and the plus side is fully pressed. Make sure you squeeze them before you click “set button,” then tap them in immediately. This ensures they aren’t constantly activated, fucking up your mojo. It should say “Axis 2+” like in the picture. Also, make sure the game you’re playing supports thumbsticks.

Step 6: Play video games.

Congratulations, you are no longer a dumbass.