Aria is a good show, but it’s a little bit girly. You can tell because there’s no sports in Neo-Venezia. What the hell is a guy supposed to do for fun? There’s only so much tea-drinking and gondola-riding you can do before your blood starts to boil for something to riot about. Enter the beautiful game.
Old games are awesome. And that’s awesome, because new games suck. However, some people don’t have old-school consoles like the NES because their parents were cheap, like mine. As a Christmas present, I’m gonna teach you scrubs how to play old-school games like they were meant to be played (i.e. not on your Cheeto-encrusted keyboard).